I have an idea for Brett Favre’s next gig
Posted by Little SK, July 22, 2008 - 7:41 am
At one point last week, I could’ve sworn I was watching an episode of Gossip Girl…
Hey NFL fans, Gossip Girl here, and I have the biggest news ever! One of my many sources sends me this, Spotted in Mississippi, Brett F frantically texting his former BFF Ted that he wants back in the Pack! But Ted’s on vacation! Will he get Brett’s desperate message? Or will he move on with Brett’s frenemy Aaron?
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Since Favre conveniently picked the deadest sports week of the calendar (coincidence?) to go public with his latest unretirement, the sports media universe has had the opportunity to cover the story ad nauseum. All possible angles were covered and debated and rehashed, so I won’t waste too much of your time here.
I just have a few things I wanted to get off my chest:
- I’m sick of the passive-aggressive bullshit from Favre. This is our All-American, Wrangler-wearing, tractor-driving, stubble-keeping tough guy? Waah Waah Waah, I’m Brett Favre I didn’t feel ‘welcomed back’ Waah Waah Wahh. What does that mean? Did they not respond to your text messages quickly enough? Did they forget to rub your feet and hail the all-mighty quarterback? His public bitch-fest to Greta Van Susteren is the kind of thing that gets players like TO and Ocho Cinco reamed in the media for being selfish. Not to mention that he possibly pulled a Roger Clemens and sold his friend out to score PR points. Can we put “biggest drama queen” on his Hall of Fame plaque?
- As far as front offices go, the NFL is a 12 month a year job. There is no off-season. It’s 2008, and draft/free agency prep begins the moment the whistle blows on the season’s final snap (or in this case when Mr. Gunslinger throws a season ending interception). If the GM and head coach asks you to make a decision within a certain time-frame, it’s because that’s what they think is best for the future of the franchise. It’s not because they want to force you out. Favre has been around long enough to know this. He’s a grown-ass man, and he should have more respect for the franchise that gave him a chance to start when no one else thought he was any good. He should show some gratitude to the team (and fanbase) that paid him millions of dollars over the years, and deified him to the point where he could probably pull his pants down, take a huge poop on the state flag of Wisconsin, and people would still talk about what a gutsy play it was.
- He does NOT deserve the benefit of the doubt about this. Sample quotes I’ve heard over the past week: “Yeah I know it sucks that he’s putting the Packers in this position, but…he’s Brett Favre! They have to let him play.” and “He’s Brett Favre! If he wants to play, let him play, he’s so much better than Rodgers anyway.” Basically, the argument boils down to the irrefutable logic of…”He’s Brett Favre! He should be able to do whatever he wants.” To which I reply: So fucking what! Why are we treating him so differently from every other player? He has as many rings as Trent Dilfer! Okay, I understand that because of his career accomplishments and what he’s meant to Green Bay, he maybe gets some leeway when making his decision. But he’s done this after EVERY SINGLE SEASON for the past three years. He has already gone through whatever goodwill and credibility he had the first time around. It’s not true that he “needs time to see if his body can hold up”. The guy’s been playing for over 16 years, he should know by now what his body will feel like in July.
- I was ecstatic to see that most Packer fans, while clearly not sharing my level of irrational outrage, aren’t exactly rolling the red carpet out again for their hero. In an unscientific phone poll, Packer fans said they want Favre to remain with the Packers, but they are split on whether he should start. These are smart, involved fans and they know what is best for the long-term, continued success of their team. Yes at first, it would really hurt them to see Favre in another uniform, but if there’s one thing even the most idealistic sports fans understand, it’s that the loyalty we feel for our favorite players exists in a vacuum. I applaud and embrace giving out that loyalty, but the satisfaction I derive from it has to exist on it’s own terms. The fans cheer, and the player plays hard and hopefully plays well. There’s no question that Favre has always played hard, and most of the time he has played very well. There’s also no question that the entire football watching world has adored him for almost two decades. But that’s the end of the bargain. Be a grown-up and be a professional, Brett. Stop messing around with the Packers and their fans and make up your mind. If you’re willing to play for another team, the fans will get over it eventually. If you stay retired, they’ll get over that too. Chris Berman and John Madden will just have to find someone else to cream themselves over.
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OMG! Was it only five months ago that our All American hero stepped down for the third consecutive year to make way for Aaron? Did Ted really push Brett out? Or is Bretty just bored of the farm life and pouting his way back to the game?
I’ve got all the dirt. And who am I? That’s one secret I’ll never tell. The only one.
XOXO,
Gossip Girl
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