Yo, Jump On This!

Baseball, Basketball, Football, Major Sports

Posted by SK, February 28, 2008 - 5:08 pm

As a self-professed homer, the one thing I can’t stand is a bandwagon jumper.  I live and die with my teams, and I hate it when I see someone suddenly and inexplicably become a fan of the next hottest team.  It’s just not right.

But it does make me wonder what all those brand new Patriots fans felt like when they lost the Super Bowl this year.  Then again, on the other hand, seeing all this brand new New York Giants merchandise everyone seems to be wearing all of a sudden makes me sick to my stomach.

At any rate, before people start yelling that I’ve got a case of the sour grapes, here are the top five biggest sports bandwagons of my lifetime, in reverse order of obnoxiousness.  Let me qualify this list by saying that if you followed these teams before and kept following them after the time period I have listed, then you are excused.

If not?  Then sorry, but you’re a loathsome, bandwagon-jumping tool.  Now pardon me while I vomit.

Chicago Bulls (1990-1998) - Seemed like after Jordan retired the first time to go play baseball, people stopped watching.  Then he came “back wearin’ the 4-5″, and people started loving ‘da Bulls again.  Then he retired the second time, after committing the most egregious push-off in NBA history to win his 6th title.  And how many fewer Bulls jerseys and hats did we see on people as soon as carrying the team fell on Toni Kukoc?  Half, maybe?  Yeah okay, I rest my case.

New England Patriots (2003-2008) - The Pats were the huge underdog in their first Super Bowl victory agains the Rams, so it was cute when they first won.  The backup quarterback came out of obscurity to beat the heavily favored team in the championship game.  They make movies out of that sort of stuff.  Then they started piling on the wins and piling on the championships.  Tom Brady started dating actresses and supermodels.  And people kept piling on the bandwagon.  It’ll be interesting to see how many of these new Pats “fans” stick around if the Patsies become infected with the Super Bowl hangover disease that’s been afflicting the loser of the big game for the past few years.  My guess?  Not too many.

Dallas Cowboys (1992-1996) - This one is personal.  I survived Tom Landry’s final 3-13 season, and the purchase of the team by Jerry Jones and the 1-15 season in the late ’80s.  My formative years as a Cowboys fan were ones of struggle.  And of course, this is when most of the bandwagon jumpers left, only to come back a few years later when we were winning three championships in four years.  And when we went through salary cap hell through Troy Aikman’s final years?  Yup, they left again, not to return again until last year.  Honestly, I’d rather not be “America’s Team”.  I hate being classified in the same category as all those front-running jackasses.  And to all you Cowboys “fans” that conveniently abandon the team during the tough times?  Piss off…us true fans don’t want you around our silver and blue.

New York Yankees (1996-present) - Before 1996, I had never experienced an obnoxious Yankee fan.  That’s because they were pretty futile for the majority of my life, having won their last prior championship in 1978, and their last AL pennant in 1981.  Ah, but like they always do, the obnoxious Yankee fans came out like so many cockroaches after that ‘96 Series against the Braves.  And as the Yanks proceeded to win three straight from 1998 to 2000, Yankee fans got more and more obnoxious and almost omnipresent.  And just like roaches, they won’t go away, even though their last championship was eight years ago.

Boston Red Sox (2004-present) - Ahh, the Sox.  No list of obnoxious fandom would ever be complete without Red Sox Nation.  First of all, they named themselves “Red Sox Nation” and started this ridiculous trend of referring to a fanbase as a “nation”.  I, for one, am sick of that.  Calling the Utah fanbase “Jazz Nation” just seems wrong on so many levels.  Second of all, the pink hat/jersey trend for women that they started makes me want to stab myself in the eye.  But most importantly, we all had to hear the same whining for 87 years about how the Sox were cursed… and now that they’ve won two championships we have to deal with the douchebaggery (yes, thats a word today) that comes with that cockiness.  And that would be ok, if it was limited to the New England area.  Except now, Sox hats (pink and otherwise) are cropping up all over the country… EVEN IN NEW YORK!  I wonder what the census counts of Red Sox Nation would be if the Sox were to be held without a title for another 87 years?  Will we find out?  One can only hope.

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